It's been a few weeks since we got back from family vacation. Honestly, it's taken me this long to recover. There were 8 adults and 7 kids, ages 7,7,5,5,3,2,1. When they are all together they’re like a wild tribe of savages that have never experienced civilization, and we adults are the western explorers looking at them with wonder. Family vacation is like our own Indiana Jones exploration, a week of observing this wild population known as The Cousins. Here are some notes from my log.
Travel: We left in the afternoon, two Cousins journeyed with us so that we may begin to acclimate to our week of research. They were smaller in stature than us, but looked similar. One talked non-stop, the other talked and sang with a mixture of their language and what we surmised to be gibberish. Then they both fell asleep. When they awoke, they demanded snacks and toys to entertain them, and we complied. We provided them with some toys we’d purchased at the Dollar Tree, and they were astonished, never having seen something as luxurious as a ninja that sticks to a window.
Stopping for food was interesting. They seem to be unfamiliar with restaurants, or at least restaurant etiquette. They believe staying in one's seat is optional, as is eating. And when annoyed, they have no qualms about sharing that, as seen here:
When we got to the hotel, two of our fellow researchers were there with two native Cousins of their own. The four Cousins embraced and screamed, running around the hotel room in what appeared to be delight in seeing each other. For ease and consistency we have decided to reference them by birth order, the eldest being #1, the next being #2, and so forth, ending with the youngest being #7.
We decided to venture to the wading pool at our hotel. All the natives pushed all the buttons in the elevator, never having seen technology of this caliber. Number Seven said hello to everyone we saw. Upon entering the wading pool area, all four of them ran in different directions. Number 2 was an excellent swimmer, with the others ranging in skill and confidence. Numbers six and seven had more confidence than skill and would have drowned had we not intervened. Numbers Two and Four said "watch this" one hundred times. Number Seven asked my partner to hold him up in the air again and again, and he laughed in delight. What a strange request! Was this a customary ritual in his village?
After a rousing swim session we agreed to retire upstairs. I laid down with Number 7 to demonstrate to him our way of sleeping. He was unaccustomed to sleeping in this manner, and preferred to lie perpendicular to me with his face on my back to sleep. Once he’d fallen asleep I moved to the other bed, but his brother joined me there. His brother’s preference of sleeping was to thrash about all night. Neither my partner or I awoke rested.
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| Number Seven particularly enjoyed the hotel phone. |
The next morning we went downstairs to take breakfast. Though there was no waitstaff, the natives yelled out their food choices. We realized that they were expecting us to prepare breakfast for them! In our culture we would not request another to prepare our food, especially requesting so in this demanding nature, but we obliged since their customs were clearly different. Once we fixed their food and delivered it to them at the table, they each decided they actually wanted a different choice instead. We came back with another round of breakfast for each, so that they might sample all the Country Inn and Suites had to offer. After providing this lovely modern American experience, we started back on our journey.
Day 1: We arrived at our destination in the afternoon. When all the Cousins saw each other, they participated in a great greeting and demonstration of strength by each taking turns picking each other up. Then they ran in circles screaming what must have been shouts of joy. They went to explore the pool. Some were more comfortable than others, and one yelled “I can’t swim!” in despair, before swimming across the pool on her own. We noted that male Cousins will urinate anywhere, while the females are more discreet.
Day 2: The boys awoke early, despite being up late last night. Our senior researcher took Numbers Six and Seven out to the beach, where they proceeded to throw shells back into the ocean over and over. And over and over. They also greeted each dog they saw with a wave and a hug.
Later the bigger Cousins came down to the beach and ran in the waves, then went back to the pool before going in for lunch. Not having an understanding of meteorology, there were tears and stomps when it started to rain. Perhaps they thought it would never stop? One of our team introduced a new board game and that tided them over until the rain stopped. Today we noticed that these people have boundless energy, though they need no protein, fruits, vegetables, or alcohol! When we offered them hot dogs at dinner, they put tiny flags in them, clearly not recognizing them as food items.
Day 3: Cousins protest sunscreen vehemently. Does this tribe have some mutation in their DNA that renders their skin unburnable by the sun? The two brothers that were in our care were particularly fond of cheese crackers and cheese puffs, and were more impressed with these than the ocean. Though there was the entirety of the sea before them, they sat in the sand with a box of cheez-its, alternating putting their sandy, salty hands in the bag.
Additionally, they are not conditioned to smile for a camera, preferring a more candid scowl. You'll see even one of our researchers began to take on this same look.
This evening we set about trying to get some nice pictures to document the experience. While it went much better than last year's attempt, it was not perfect. Maybe Cousins do not have the technology for photography in their village. Clearly the photos they value have tears or dance positions in them.
After pictures the Cousins enjoyed a game of eating mystery jellybeans. Some were regular flavors we're accustomed to, like strawberry and coconut. Others were unusual flavors like grass clippings, booger, and baby wipes. We are accustomed to different cultures enjoying different delicacies, but what we found unusual was that the Cousins didn't like the flavors we found unusual, yet they still ate them. They gagged and spat them into the sand, and then went back for more. It was a custom that they all found disgusting, yet they all voluntarily participated in. (Perhaps that's how other cultures would describe our Black Friday?)
Day 4: Someone must be crying at all times. Cousins seem to have a sixth sense about them that notes when one stops crying and prompts another to begin. Reasons for these outbursts vary, but may include it's raining, it's about to rain, it's hot, it's cold, someone has a toy they want, they don't know what they want for lunch, we stopped having fun for 5 minutes, someone asked if they need to pee, or it stopped raining. When anyone says something that Number Seven doesn't like, he pretends to fall asleep. Even if he's in the pool.
Day 5: We took Numbers 2, 4, 6, and 7 into town. We visited such attractions as a Pirate Museum and Ripley's Believe It Or Not, and saw several places of historical significance. But their favorite was eating pizza at lunch and shopping in the pirate museum gift shop. Number 7 particularly enjoyed the trolley that took us around town, and he waved and yelled "I riding!" then promptly faked falling asleep when anyone looked or waved at him. He is a small, strange creature.
Day 6: Cousins also have some eating rituals that are unusual. At a restaurant, they will ask for a specific food. Insist upon it. Beg for it. Promise they will like it. Then, once it is presented to them they will take one bite and declare they no longer like it. It is these times that they've been served the largest portion in the history of time.
Number 7 prefers to wear an oven mitt while he eats at home, but does not take it out with him to restaurants. He will also try to fit every piece of cereal that's in a cereal box into his mouth at once.
They eat with such wild abandon and passion that they care not where food may land! They care not where food trash lands either. Perhaps they have servants who clean up after them? Certainly no one lives among such trash.
They also have unusual methods for sitting in chairs. Here you will see Cousins 4, 5, and 7, none of them seated on their hind quarters. You'll note that Number 5, on the left, is royalty.
Day 7: Cousins played in the sand. No one wanted to get buried and everyone wanted to dig, then everyone wanted to get buried and no one wanted to dig.
Cousins consider accessories to be clothing, and clothing to be accessory.
For sport, they enjoy arguing, running, screeching, and full contact wrestling.
Here we captured a short video of their customary inside ritual that they participate in nightly:
Once they warmed up to the idea of taking pictures, they also enjoyed experimenting with perspective.
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| Numbers One (front) and Two |
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| Numbers 3 (front) and 4 |
Tomorrow we shall leave for home. We are exhausted, but we have observed much about this culture and are grateful for the chance to learn more about them. Until next year....
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