Going Postal

We're kind of trying to rent our house. You see, there's this old farm house that we're crushing on, and we can't be interested in it until we break up with rent our house. So, with no real plan or safety net, we listed our house for rent in the paper and on Craigslist just to see what would happen. A few people have shown some interest and have emailed The Husband.

Saturday, in the car
Husband: Here, call Ochita and see when she wants to come look at the house.
Me: I don't know Ochita.
Husband: Ochita emailed me and wants to come see it. Here's her number.
(I took his phone and called, on speakerphone).

O: Hello?
Me: Ochita?
O: No, this Oshana.
Me: Oh. Hi. Is Ochita there? I'm calling about a house on Craigslist that she emailed about renting.
O: No, she's not here. Who is this?
Me: Leigh Ellen. I'm calling about a house on Craigslist that she emailed about renting.
O: Oh! That was me. I used my mama's email address on accident.
Me: Okay. When do you want to come see it? Could you come Monday?
O: No, I work on Monday. I work for the post office, and I don't get off until 5:30. So I can't come on Monday unless it's after 5:30.
Me: Okay, we can do after 5:30.
O: Okay. No, I have to go pick up my kids. It'll have to be another day.
Me: Okay. How about Tuesday?
O: Okay, okay. Tuesday works. 5:00?
Me: That's fine with me. 5:00.
O: Yeah. No, I have to go pick up my kids.
Me: Okay, when works for you?
O: Tuesday, 5:30?
Me: Okay, 5:30 works for me.
O: Which house is this?

After some confusion and back and forth concerning first and last month's rent, I gave Oshana our address, which she assured me she knew because she works for the post office and delivers mail. "I know right where that is!"

Fast forward to Tuesday. We cleaned the house from top to bottom and had it ready for Ochita Oshana to come. I'm talking candles lit, curtains opened, orphaned socks put away, and closets presentable. The Husband mopped. I cleaned up every plastic banana, train wheel, and letter magnet on the floor and put them away. Multiple times. I didn't cook dinner so as to keep the kitchen tidy (twist my arm). Five thirty came and went. Five forty. Five fifty. 

Me: At what point do we assume she's not coming? 

Husband: Give her until 6:00 in case she was confused on the time. 

Me: Call her. 

The Husband calls and leaves a voicemail (Oshana's second favorite kind of mail). 

At 6:30 his phone rang. 

Husband: Hello? 

Oshana: Hello? 

Husband: Hey, we were just wondering where you were. 

Oshana: I left already. 

Husband: Left where? 

Oshana: Your house. 

Husband: Our house? 

Oshana: Yeah, Nobody was there so I left. 

Husband: You couldn't have left our house. My wife's been here. 

Oshana: I came there earlier. 

Husband: My wife's been here. We had an appointment at 5:30, I came home early from work. 

Oshana: Yeah, I called and cancelled that. 

Husband: Called who? 

Oshana: Your wife. 

Husband: You don't have my wife's number. 

Oshana: I called the number on the sign. 

Husband: What sign? 

Oshana: The sign in your yard. 

Husbad: We don't have a sign in our yard. 

Oshana: Musta been somewhere else, then. 

Husband: Okay, ma'am, that's fine. Thank you. Goodbye.