2019 Quotes

 Usually I do our annual quotes post at the end of the year, but this year I am late with it. Tis the season to forget things, and to be busy, and to be doing well just to get the boys back to school on the right day. I am so grateful to have some routine back, because as great as the holidays are, it's hard when you don't know what day it is or if it's AM or PM. So here are our parent quotes from 2019, taken out of context: 

2019 quotes
Why is there a cricket in this bag?

You have to wear a helmet if you’re making a death ride. 

I don’t think there are churches underground, even for moles. 

Worship is not an appropriate place to play with your penis. 

Do not wipe your nose in the carpet. 

No more fart noises. 

Your mama jokes to your brother is also an insult to yourself. 

Please don’t fork the blinds.  

You have to ask someone if they want to eat something, not just put it in their mouth. That’s called consent. 

Is that shaving cream in your pocket? 

Don’t put someone else’s teeth in your mouth. 

I don’t think fish know about funnel cakes. 

I can handle blood and boogers and broken bones, but I cannot handle loose teeth. 

Go get your snorkel, I think you left it in the bath tub. 

A Dr. Suess hat is an interesting choice to wear to the water park. 

How do you know crawfish like beef jerky?

You're right, it wouldn’t be very safe to start your car if it was sitting on top of another car. 

I’d like to take a shower. Go ask your daddy how babies are made. 

We are not going to fight over fake communion bread. 

Please take that sword out of your bottom. 

It’s not just keep your hands to yourself, it’s also keep your heads to yourself. 

It’s not polite to ask strangers for popsicles. 

Having a bulldog lick your hands is not the same as washing with soap and water. 

I didn’t mean that. It’s your job to know what I mean when I talk. 

Yes, I guess a baby could fit on a saddle on a coyotes back. 

Did you tell them not to stab that baby?

No part of anyone else’s body needs to be in your mouth. 

I don’t think you can get seconds on communion. 

Mostly you cannot get human meat at any stores. 

Quit punching biscuits. 

Quit killing each other and eat your breakfast. 

When I say to get dressed, what makes you think you should parachute a guy and make fart noises? 

Do not eat anymore dog treats. 

Dogs noses are different than human noses, so prissy might not realize your breath is minty even though you want her to. 

You may not use a pineapple as a soccer ball in the house. 

It’s very hard to cut toenails that are moving. 

Do you know why there are acorns in the plunger?

Just move your tail to the side to buckle your seat belt. 

Please put that booger down. 

I accidentally whipped him with a slim jim. 

What is this splash on the ceiling and the wall that no one knows anything about? 

How is it that y’all came in here 7 times during my 4 minute shower?

You can’t put the frogs in the bath with you because soap is probably not good for them....yes, you have to use soap.