It's All Fun and Games Until Somebody Gets Dwarfism.

The Boy is tiny. Like tiny tiny. He's 7 months and wearing 3 months clothes. The Husband even asked the pediatrician if he was going to be a dwarf (she said no). He doesn't care much for eating, which is completely foreign to us since we are the kind of people who get our money's worth at a buffet, whether the food's good or not. We like to eat.

I make most of his baby food, less because we're purist health nuts and more because we're cheap. Anyway, I just puree fruits or veggies in the good old Magic Bullet, so we've started adding butter to see if that'll help plump him up. Don't worry, sometimes we use olive oil (EVOO if you speak Rachel Ray). We'll see if it's working next time he goes to the doctor.

I think it's my fault he's so little. Not because I couldn't produce enough breast milk to feed a hamster, but because of karma. I have always LOVED little people. Dwarfs, midgets, borderline midgets, you name it I'm fascinated by them. Emmanuel Lewis and Gary Coleman were my favorite actors when I was little a kid. I nearly peed my pants when TLC premiered Little Chocolatiers, a reality show about little people who own a chocolate shop. Now I don't want to exploit little people in any way, but if they sign up for their own reality show and put it out there for the world to see I'm going to tune in. I'm encouraged and inspired by the fact that everything they do is harder than it is for me. Each chore takes an extra step, or an extra step stool, to complete.

One little person that I LOVED was named Little Ty. That wasn't his real name, I've changed it so HIPAA and his mom won't be upset in the event that anyone ever reads this. Little Ty  was in school in the county that I once interned in. He was 10 and tiny. Tiny! He was probably less than 3 feet tall. The first time I saw him he was sitting in a teacher's lap in the library with kids gathered all around like a ventriloquist doll.  That certainly piqued my interest but I didn't think it was appropriate for me to go approach him just for my own curiosity (how professional!). So I went about my intern business but I didn't forget about him.

Then one day I was helping with a field day at his school when I felt something tugging at my kneecap and I heard a tiny, tiny voice say "Hey! Hey!" I looked down, and to my amazement, was little Ty. I smiled and leaned down to see what he wanted. "They won't let me in the prize box!" he said, as he pointed to the group of kids around the prize box. "You would fit in the prize box" I thought, but didn't say. Again, professional. So I helped him get a prize from the cardboard box of erasers and stickers, and I was hooked. He was the sweetest, smallest, gentlest human I'd ever seen. And so tiny!

He wanted to do the 3 legged race, which I was in charge of. Never one to stand in the way of a child's dreams, I tied his leg to his height-gifted 10 year old friend's leg. His head only came up to her thigh. How was this going to work? He would have to take 5 steps to her every one. It became my mission to see this to fruition. Thinking quickly, I wrapped his arms around her leg and told him to hold on tight. She began running and he was along for the ride! Imagine a 10 year old running with an infant strapped to her leg. That's what it looked like, only the infant was another tiny 10 year old! The Rocky music started playing in my head as this special ed duo ran from one plastic cone to another. In a movie it would have been in slow motion, zooming in on the grin on both their faces. They didn't win, but they didn't care. From that moment, I was hooked. I folded a burlap sack over 19 times so that he could get in and do the sack race. I abandoned my post at the 3 legged race to go around to each station with Little Ty, including face painting and the office chair relay in the gym. I was mesmerized by my new friend, and ignored the fact that he didn't need my help and couldn't care less that I was even there. In hindsight, it was probably annoying that I followed him around. What a day!

Little Ty didn't need my services. He was getting several services through the school already, and his parents were more than appropriate and supportive. But each time I went to that school I went by his classroom to try to see him. Once they were watching Where The Red Fern Grows and Little Ty shouted out "I'mma get me a coon dog!" He could ride a coon dog if he wanted. I lived off the thought of him riding a coon dog through the woods for days. Days, I tell ya!

It wasn't fair or appropriate for me to have a favorite, or to change my schedule to check in on him, or to spend mass amounts of time in his classroom because he was so dang funny and magnetic. In fact, when you put it that way it sounds a little bit stalker-ish. If you  had met him you'd know how fun he was and you would have done the same thing. Sometimes I can still hear his tiny little voice. My friend still works in that school system and she told me not long ago that Little Ty is in high school now. She knows because she was there one day and he ambush karate chopped the back of her knee. What's not to love?

So you can see now why my son is tiny. He doesn't have dwarfism, but we're just on the edge of worrying about his growth. I know it's payback for me stalking other little people, I just hope one day there's an intern out there that will help The Boy in the 3 legged race.