Merry Christmess

Our December was good. It was great, actually. But it wasn't the stuff of Pinterest posts and fancy Santa portraits. It was real, and it had plenty of messiness. When we were at my cousin's for Christmas he pointed out all the perfect Christmas cards displayed in their kitchen: girls with dresses clean and pressed, boys with matching sweaters and symmetrical smiles, Santas with suits so nice you know they've never been down a chimney, families that look so perfect and happy you wonder if you're doing it wrong. My cousin laughed that so many of those cards didn't accurately reflect the people they knew in the pictures. He pointed to one perfect kid and said "This kid got suspended for punching someone at school."

I don't think holiday cards are the place to air our dirty laundry, but I think he's right that we try to convey perfection and bliss, when that's not usually our daily reality. I found this picture online:

Who are these perfect people, and why does only the one child get to see Santa? You know in order to get a picture like this in real life there are multiple threats and the mom is standing behind the photographer screaming "you better smile!" and shaking a wooden spoon. I bet she's got a weapon in that gift box, in fact. 

Here are some of our December pictures that didn't make the cut, but maybe should have. 

The Gingerbread House of Horrors

This angel, prepared for the Children's Christmas Program at church

Then somehow, in his excitement, he broke out into the running man once he was front and center. Because Jesus, y'all. Hark.

And do you wonder where his halo went? I spotted it on a sheep who ended up sitting with her mama in the audience: 


And for every shot we got that looked like this:


We had 4 or 5 or 12 that looked like this:

Because Tis the Season for WWE. 

And when we went on a December boat ride....

but BeYoYo insisted on taking his "teef boppy". Also pictured: life jacket, ninja turtle hat, and bagel

And The Boy had to pee. In a life jacket and ninja turtle hat.

The night they ate gas station snacks for dinner

I don't know if this was a happy face or a mad face, but again with the to go bagel....
 

                                      BeYoYo in the church nursery. In the oven. Pooping. 

Our county had a runoff after the general election for a local position. After voting I asked the boys to smile for a picture and this is what I got: 

                                             

Christmas Day

And The Boy didn't take his Gecko costume off for 3 days. 

Mary, Joseph, the Wise Men, and two Ninja Turtles

Lest you ever see a picture of us that is perfect and poised (not that that's likely, anyway) or where all of us look clean at the same time, we'd just like you to know that's not the real us, and there were probably threats and bribes involved. I don't think anyone is fooled by this, based on the fact that you have seen us before in real life, but just in case. 

Merry Christmess, everyone!