An Almost Three Year Old

I haven't written in a while because a) I am exhausted, and b) nothing that interesting has been going on. I could write and tell you about our trips to the grocery store and the library and the likes, but that wouldn't be very entertaining for either of us.

The Boy WILL BE THREE NEXT WEEK. Oh Em Gee. Can you believe it? I can't. In case you don't have one, let me tell you a little bit about almost three year olds.

~ They ask questions about everything. All the time. Questions like "are wolves shy?" and "what's a minivan?" and "How jump can you high?" and "Can people save banana chips (for later)?" and "Why can't we get naked in front of the neighbors?" and "What are cucumbers made of?" and "Who is the boss of squirrels?"

~They talk. All. The. Time. If it's not questions, it's monologues about super heroes and cars and dishes and dogs and magic and Santa and blankets and Harry Potter and friends on rocket ships and a monster named Franken-celery, and that time we went to that place where we did that thing.

~They melt down. Not just about nap times and what to eat, but about other legitimate things, like a strawberry touched their mango, or their ice is too cold, or the blue spoon not being clean, or not wanting to go HOOOOOOME from the PLAYGROUNNDDDD or lightening bugs not being out during the day, or the pillow not laying the way they want, ie "waying cwazy" or not being able to find Hawkman's other wing after they THREW Hawkman's other wing.

~They think poopoo is hilarious. I really thought we would somehow dodge this one by not having any reaction to any potty words. Want to go on a poopoo ride? Sure. You want poopoo for lunch? Great. But it didn't work. Even a little. In fact, almost three year olds say poopoo 400 times a day, and then tell you 454 times a day that they just said poopoo words.

~They move. It's nonstop. We went to a three year old birthday party last weekend and they are all like gnats on speed. They ride scooters in the house. They do flips off their beds. They run until their little faces are red and their hair is dripping with sweat. They scoot on their bums down the stairs just to climb back up and start over. And they NEVER get tired.

~They tell jokes. Jokes that sometimes flop on execution. Jokes like "what do you get when you cross a cocka doodle doo? Time to get a new bed!" And lots of jokes where the punch line is "poo poo."

~They have their own sense of style that can't be beat.

~They are the sweetest. They give hugs and hold hands, and say things like "mama, I love you to the top of the moon" and they offer to kiss your booboos and they thank you for fixing their snack and ask you to marry them, then once you say yes they tell you they're kidding.

That's Almost-3-Year Olds in a nutshell.

Last week in preparation for The Boy's birthday I asked him some interview questions that I hope we will repeat each year and see how his answers change. Here they are.

How old are you? 

"Two and a half"

What’s your favorite thing to do? 

"eat pasta"

What do you want to be when you grow up? 

"a powice officifice"

What’s your favorite food? 

"cucumbers and pasta"

What’s something you’re good at? 

"pwaying puzzles"

What makes you laugh? 

"telling joke-es"

What’s something scary?

"a dinosaur or a monster or a witch"

Who’s your best friend? 

"Violette"

What do you like to do with your family? 

"pway outside"

Where do you like to go? 

"to a rocket ship"

What do you like to learn about? 

"poopoo"