So he coughed and cried in his sleep. He woke up briefly at 4:00, but I couldn't go back to sleep after I heard him on the monitor. I laid in bed until he coughed and cried at 5:00, then I got up to give him his pacie. He went back to sleep again until 6:00. The Husband got up with him, and started cleaning.
He cuddled and coughed, took a bottle, ate a banana, then threw up from coughing. Twice.
Waking up early gives me a false sense of time, I tend to think I've got all the time in the world. Once both kids were up I took the crock pot out of the fridge and turned it on. It was actually the dinner we were supposed to have last night, but I'd forgotten to take it out yesterday morning. I patted myself on the back for remembering today. The Husband went in his office and started working.
Then, thinking of how much time I had, I decided to go ahead and cook some kale chips to go with tonight's dinner. I preheated the oven and got the kale ready. When I opened the oven to put them in, I found the baked potatoes that we were supposed to have last night. Ah ha! I took out the potatoes and put in the kale.
Then I decided, since I had these potatoes handy, to cook a skillet potato recipe I'd pinned. That called for bacon, so I got the bacon out of the fridge. I put BeYoYo back in his high chair and gave him a little more breakfast before turning back to the bacon. The bacon was sizzling, the kale chips chipping, the crock pot crocking. BeYoYo cried and signed "all done", which really means "get me out of this high chair right now". But I had bacon on my hands, so I got The Boy to give BeYoYo a handful of puppy chow. Yes, I had my four year old give the cereal-peanut butter-confectioner's sugar crack snack to my one year old. Who had already thrown up. Whatever it takes, people.
That bought me a few more minutes, which was good because about that time the smoke detector started going off. BEEP BEEP BEEP. I'd forgotten about the kale chips. The Boy came running, holding his hands over his ears, and asking me what was going on. I started fanning all the smoke away, while I was explaining to him about smoke detectors. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. BeYoYo laughed at all this from his high chair.
The smoke detector calmed down, and BeYoYo wanted down. I let him walk around in the kitchen while I kept cooking, but he wanted to be held. I took him in The Husband's office and said "hey, watch him, there's GREASE in here", as though I was not responsible for the grease. A few minutes later he came out holding BeYoYo. "Are you frying potatoes in bacon grease? What happened to us eating healthy?" I flipped potatoes. "Well" I said "Remember last week when I asked you to get sherry for the beef stroganoff, and you accidentally got sherry wine vinegar instead? This recipe calls for sherry wine vinegar...." I explained, clearly noting that this was his fault. I did not mention how I found yesterday's baked potatoes in the oven. "I really appreciate all the things you do around the house, but this might be an example of when you take on too many things at once." He actually said those words, as I was cooking his dinner at 7:00 am. "It might be" I said, "but...sherry vinegar." He went to take a shower.
I helped get the boys ready, and I went to take a shower. The Husband declared that BeYoYo was disgusting and needed to shower with me. Okay. I got in the shower and then I heard The Husband make some exclamations about excrement. Apparently he went to pull off BeYoYo's diaper and it had poop in it. He cleaned BeYoYo up and handed him to me in the shower. Then I heard The Boy in the bathroom too. BeYoYo was standing at my feet and I peeked out of the shower. The Boy was on the toilet. We have three bathrooms in our house, and both kids have to poop in OUR bathroom WHILE I'm in the shower. Then I heard The Husband ask The Boy if he'd wiped, and The Boy responded affirmatively by mooning him.
It was not yet 8 o'clock.
And even though I'd been up since 4:00, somehow we were late to Wild Intelligence at 9:30. I didn't explain that it was because the baby is sick and I found yesterday's potatoes in the oven, and I wanted to use the vinegar that we accidentally bought, and that everyone pooped in my bathroom while I was showering, and the smoke detector and puppy chow. That felt kind of like #firstpeopleproblems.
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