April Fools

Y'all know I love a good prank. Like this one. Or this classic one. So naturally I love April Fool's Day. This is the first year The Boy has been REALLY old enough to understand it, and turns out he loves it too. This morning when he woke up he came tearing in our room, yelling "mama! Mama! Come upstairs! Come look at my door!" When I tried to interrupt him he wouldn't let me. "No, mama. You have to come and see what's on my (bedroom) door. Somebody put something on there and I couldn't get out!" I told him it was me that saran wrapped his door frame, and reminded him it was April Fool's Day. He laughed. I asked him what he thought when he saw it, and he said "I was karate chopping it and I couldn't break it and I had to crawl under it!" He also said he thought maybe his elf on a shelf did it.

That was the official start to the day. Breakfast spelled out April Fool's, and the milk had eyes. He thought it was all hilarious, and he helped me make The Husband a chai disguised as coffee. The Husband totally saw it coming and wouldn't drink it but played along. Then The Boy earned enough stars on his chart to earn a prize, and I sent him to choose something from the prize bag. "Moooom!" he yelled "there are POTATOES in here! I HATE potatoes!"

The Boy chose to wear a Halloween skeleton sweatshirt today as a prank(?), so I said of course. Then I carried out my best prank of the day. Before The Husband took a shower I unscrewed the shower head, added a bouillon cube, and screwed it back in. In my haste to not get caught I (accidentally) left the bouillon wrapper on the counter. When he came in the bathroom he said "hon, you been eating bouillon in the bathroom??" "You got me!" I said. I told him that was my prank.

He showered and I could hardly stand how excited I was. He got out of the shower and asked "what were you REALLY doing with that bouillon cube?" I told him it was in the trash. He was suspicious but I didn't let on because I didn't want him getting back in the shower to rinse off in clean water. He went about getting ready for his day, then we loaded up the kids in his truck as he got ready to take them to school. I walked to his side of the car to kiss him goodbye and said "oh hon....you bathed in bouillon." The look on his face...was magical. "How????" he asked, his voice rising. I told him that I'd put it in the shower head and he immediately started smelling himself. "Just great" he said as they drove off. I was proud about this the rest of the day. He posted a facebook status saying I'd been arrested, and even that couldn't throw me off my game.

At work I told a colleague that we had a pest infestation and would have to relocate our office temporarily. On my way home I called The Husband to see what he wanted to do for dinner, and then mid-sentence I threw in some choice words and told him I'd just been rear-ended, and hung up. At dinner I told The Boy that Cracker Barrel was out of pancakes.

Then, when we were at dinner The Husband told me he wanted to do the unthinkable: go to Walmart. Ugh. With our children. Double ugh. And we were all in one car and I was held hostage. I begrudgingly agreed, even though I HATE Walmart. When we got there The Boy and I went one way and he and BeYoYo went another. BeYoYo needs some play shoes for his fat feet, so I got him some while we were there. He screamed "shuuuu! Shuuu!" until I put one of each of the new shoes on each of his feet, their mates dangling down below.

We got what The Husband needed and 20 hours later emerged, ready to check out. Beyoyo was yelling "out! Out!" at this point, so I took him out and held him. Then I passed him to The Husband, who LET HIM GET DOWN AND WALK. The first rule of parenting is always, always contain them if you can. Lord, help us, he was like a squirrel in traffic. Then The Husband let him stand between him and the buggy and push the buggy. He pushed, and he pushed, and he pushed, and he loved it. And in that moment, I saw the writing on the wall. Now that he knows this is an option he'll never be content to sit in the buggy again. I told The Husband all my future grocery trips just got substantially more difficult, and he smiled with great pleasure. And I realized THAT was his prank for April Fool's Day: the prank that keeps on giving. Long after the scent of beef broth has washed off him I'll be chasing a toddler with newfound freedom through a store.