Madam Fore!woman

The Husband had a work conference in St. Simons this weekend so The Boy and I came with him. We've been having adventures today while The Husband has been in meetings. We're staying at a conference center resort, which is nice, but it's primarily a golf course catering to the golf crowd.  We loaded up the stroller in search of  a playground this afternoon but never found it.

We started out walking on the road but a car nearly hit us coming around a curve so we moved to the sidewalk. I had the stroller canopy over The Boy so that only his little toes were peeking out, and he was entertaining us with his non-words. We were strolling along, minding our own business, when a snarky woman in a pink short sleeved sweater golf carted up beside us. It's hard to convey her attitude without audio, but I can assure you it was 100% snarky. Imagine the meanest teacher you ever had- one that was belittling or demeaning when you didn't know an answer. Take away her hairy mole and add torpedo boobs the size of cantaloupes and this lady could be her.

Snarky: Excuse me! Ma'am! (Not in the polite way.)
Me: Yes? (In the polite way)
Snarky: You are not allowed to be over here!
Me: Why?
Snarky: This is a golf course! These paths are for golf carts only, not for walkers!
Me: I'm sorry.
Snarky: There are signs everywhere. You are putting all of us at risk. You are putting your life in danger, and you are putting this child's life in danger by being over here.
Me: I'm sorry, I didn't realize.
Snarky: There are signs everywhere saying it! You're putting this child's life at risk. You can't be over here- you need to be on the road!
Me: (a little more firmly) I'm sorry. 

She drove off in her cart with a huff, her white capri pants probably sticking her fat butt to the vinyl seat as sweat dripped onto her visor. In my head I'm saying visor like it's a bad word, FYI. We got on the road and turned and headed in the other direction but I couldn't get the woman out of my mind. The "path" looked just like a sidewalk and was four feet from the road.  It was an innocent mistake that anyone could have made, so why did she have to be so..... snarky? We were just out for a stroll and she acted like I was juggling knives while holding the baby over an alligator pit. Do I look like the Crocodile Hunter? I wanted to tell her that I was a mandated reporter and that we could call Child Protective Services together to report that I was putting my child's life in danger. I'm sure a helicopter would be standing by to life flight him to the safety of the road four feet away.

Okay, it was a error in judgement on my part. Not the best decision I'd made today, I agree. I probably should have been paying closer attention. Let's all agree I was wrong, and that we could have been hit by a line drive. But why can't people be nice? Why did she have to break out the big you're-putting-your-child's-life-in-the-balance guns and act like I'm a neglectful mother?  How judgmental. A simple "Oops, but this path is for carts" would have been enough. Maybe even an "excuse me, good mother, taking your baby out for a stroll to expose him to nature and sunshine and all the beauty this day has to offer, this path is made just for us lazy folks who like to partake in sports that allow us to move as few muscles as possible. You probably didn't see the signs because you were making good eye contact with your baby but your social and physical exercise is interrupting our whacking at balls with sticks, drinking beer, and judging others."

Even The Husband was supportive when I told him about this encounter later, and he's notoriously unsupportive of me putting The Boy in danger. Loosely translated he suggested I tell her to mind her own business, which I appreciated.

And yes, I realize that I am now having a bad attitude and judging others and not making a good example for my child. And that makes me just as bad as she is, but it sure feels better to get it off my (appropriately sized) chest.