Chicken or shrimp?

This whole Chick-fil-A thing has really burnt my nuggets. I am a Christian. I am a supporter of gay rights.  (Yes, we exist). Dan Cathy said he supports the Biblical definition of marriage and the country goes wild. How dare he state what he believes? We cry out that he's intolerant and hates gays. Hate mail to Dan Cathy because we think he's intolerant only makes us intolerant. It does nothing to create an atmosphere of tolerance, openness, or treating others the way we want to be treated. It fuels the fire of the debate and creates a hero and martyr for those who actually do want to prevent gays from having equal rights. Whoa, Nelly. That's hardly winning them over to what a great group of folks we are. I think we could do better.

It's true, the Bible does admonish homosexuality. It's right there in Leviticus 18, in black and white. So I can understand some of the outrage. There's really no arguing with the Bible. The problem is that the Bible also admonishes pork (Lev. 11:7-8). And shrimp (Lev. 11:11-12). And getting a tattoo (Lev. 19:28). And gossip (Lev. 19:16).  And remarriage (Mark 10:11-12). And touching a woman when she's on her period (Lev. 15:19-20). And polyester blends (Lev. 19:19). And rounded haircuts (Lev 19:27). And this is from the very book of the Bible that says homosexuality is wrong. Ouch! With the exception of remarriage, I have been guilty of all of these. I have probably eaten bacon wrapped shrimp while wearing polyester and gossiping with a period-having woman. I even had a rounded Dorothy Hammil hair cut when I was little. See?
 

It seems to me that if the Bible says all of these are wrong we should treat them all equally; either drop them all or be outraged about them all. So, I hereby call for an all out war against shrimp! "Anything living in the water that doesn't have fins and scales is detestable to you." (Lev. 11:11). Obviously shrimp chose not to have fins and scales, therefore they deserve what they get. If only they repented and reformed themselves into the fish they were meant to be.... The Bible says shrimp are detestable, so therefore God hates shrimp and wants shrimp to suffer. Or maybe God hates the sin, loves the shrimp? Hates the shrimp, loves the shrimper?  I think it's time to call an end to the moral decay in this country. No rights for shrimp and pork! I hereby announce that shrimp shall not marry, shall not be treated equally, and shall not hold rights that well deserving fish with the decency to have fins and scales are entitled to. We'll protest any pro-shrimp companies, heckle any shrimp that we see on the street, and most importantly as God-fearing, Bible-abiding, decent American citizens, we will never, under any circumstance love shrimp.

Homosexuality is addressed in several scriptures in the Bible, but derivatives of the word love are found more than 700 times. Seems like maybe the love is what we should be focusing on, and I don't think we do a very good job of it. No one ever hated someone into agreeing with them*. Gay rights supporters, gay rights opposition, put down your swords and your shrimp forks and let's start by showing the other side what a nice and loving group we are. Maybe, just maybe, they'll return the favor.Wouldn't it be great if we could sit down for a cocktail together even though we disagree?  In fact, let's make it a shrimp cocktail.


*I don't actually have any research to back this up. It's a guess.