Why Extroverts Hate The Flu

I guess everyone hates the flu, really. Except maybe people with Hypochondria or Munchausen By Proxy. For the rest of us it's a drag. And I've never been an introvert, but I would guess that it's harder for us extroverts. 

Thank God for my mom keeping The Boy today. He's on steroids for wheezing, and he is hyped up like a spider monkey. She has the patience of Job. I went to the doctor, got the flu stick shoved up to my brain, got my meds, cancelled my clients, and came home and crashed. I have been coughing constantly, my throat is raw, I have congestion off the chain, and my muscles hurt. But it wasn't until the "flu" word came out that I really felt bad. Validation or power of suggestion?

Exaggeration. I don't actually look this good when I have the flu. 

Now I can't go to Thanksgiving tomorrow, and you'll remember from last year we cram a lot into our holidays.  Mostly I'm disappointed to miss sweet potato souffle. And peanut butter balls. And pie. Oh, and family. Of course.

Back to today. I came home and took a nap. Then I was awake. And alone. And it was nice to just lie there with no responsibility and no pressure. For about 5 minutes. Then I was bored. I caught up on The Daily Show. And then I called The Husband, who was kindly leaving work early. Hooray! I anxiously awaited for his arrival, knowing he could fix me some lunch and a drink and provide me some company. So sweet. He came home, came to the door to my room, and asked how I was feeling. I told him I was okay. Before I could even ask for lunch, he shut the door and yelled to me from the hall "you're quarantined!"

Oh, I forgot to tell you The Husband is a nut about germs. I wouldn't be surprised if he was out there in the hall with a can of Lysol in his hands. "Please!" I begged through the door "could you fix me a scrap to eat?"

He did, but held it at arm's distance and placed it at the foot of the bed. It was clear that I wasn't going to get any company. "Hang out with me?" I called to him. "I'm disinfecting" he said. He went to the store to get me some flu supplies and went to get The Boy. I don't know how single parents do it. 

He came back, and came to the door. "Hon", he said to me gently, "we're going to go stay at my mom's tonight....So you can get some rest." 

He brought The Boy to the door. 

"You sick mama?"

"Yes, buddy. Did you have a good day?"

"Yep. I have fun at Pammie's house."

He waved goodbye to me and was happy to go to his Bebe's to play with 'inja turtles. The Husband offered to fix me some dinner. They left. 

I was alone. With no prospect of seeing people for a while. I don't mind being alone, if I get to choose it and I get to choose when it ends. Plus, this was bor-ing. And I was restless. It's not that I'm afraid to be with my thoughts (although I do feel like I have a surplus sometimes), but I need people to recharge. I need to interact with others and say things out loud and hear people laugh. I need to connect. If I were an introvert, this alone time might be just what I needed to feel better, to recharge. I am no introvert. Do they really enjoy this? I needed to be preparing food for a ton of people this weekend. I needed to be chatting with my husband about if The Boy on steroids will sit still long enough to eat tomorrow. 

And now my family is gone, and no one can visit because I'm contagious. I'm in a weird flu purgatory of feeling bad and being contagious but being alert enough to be bored and want some interaction. 

So I watched some tv. I looked at pinterest all the way to the end. That's right, I finished every pin on pinterest. I checked out facebook. I made it to the bathroom and took a steam bath. I checked out the Momastery blog. I love Glennon's blog (I don't actually know her, I just feel like we're on a first name basis) and feel like it's really positive. Usually I wish I had more time to myself to just read blogs. Today all I had was time, and I wanted people. I texted my mom, who is an introvert. She was with my sister, an extrovert. 

My sister is an extrovert like me. We're also talkers. I'd dare say she even talks more than me. When we get together and get on a roll we feed off each other and CANNOT stop laughing. She gets me. 

She was referring to this. These are silly, but there are frustrating things about being an extrovert. Like when you're quarantined. Back to that. 

The minutes ticked by. Would I make it? I tossed and turned. I missed people. I missed my family. I could never make it in solitary confinement. I'd be more likely to start a therapeutic group in prison, where we all process our feelings. If I'm ever kidnapped, I'll probably confess anything I know just to get to have a conversation. I started thinking about my great grandmother Maggie who fell ill when my granddaddy was young and had to stay in a TB sanitarium for 3 months. Her family was only able to visit once a month. How did she do it? I'd go crazy. I tried to channel her strength. Maybe I was going crazy. It was already setting in. My brain was turning on itself. 

My family had been gone an hour.  It's going to be a long night. 

So, needing to reach out, I turned to you, my friends. To tell you how I need people. Thank you for being my people. May you have a happy Thanksgiving. Tomorrow I will reflect on just how thankful I am for the people in my life, for the connections and conversations that keep me going. 

And, if none of this makes sense, please know I am heavily medicated.