Yes, these are a year late. I found them saved on my phone from the post I meant to do last year. These include lockdown, digital learning, working from home, and so much togetherness.
2020 quotes
- Yes prissy is a grown up, but you can’t stay home with just her. You have to be with a human grown up.
- You can’t wear sweat pants to a funeral.
- You don’t need to trade toys at school, and you sure don’t need to trade your brother’s toys.
- No one is naked at a funeral.
- How did you hurt your eye when you were peeing?
- Quit trying to blow dry your testicles and come eat breakfast.
- How did the wash cloth end up in the toilet?
- You don’t have to pull up my dress to brush your teeth.
- Germs are real. Cooties are not.
- No one in our family is a bounty hunter.
- It’s cheap whiskey, not cheese whiskey.
- No pogo sticking on the stairs, please.
- A mole is much smaller than a human.
- Nintendo is not the boss of you.
- No, clicking on the terminix ad doesn’t count as your schoolwork for today.
- When I say go brush your teeth, there isn’t any learning to play songs on the keyboard in that request.
- Did you agree for him to kill you?
- You’ve got to take a bath if you get spit on by a llama or sneezed on by a buffalo.
- He’s crying bc he punched you in the nose?
- Do not kill anyone else today.
- People aren’t going to want to come over to play if you try to hurt them.
- You don’t have to narrate your burps.
- Humans don’t sniff each other’s butts
- I’m not in charge of what other people name their stores.
- Don’t lick your hands before you hold someone’s hand.
- You don’t have to narrate any vomit, no matter whose it is.
- You don’t need a ukelele to brush your teeth.
- Did you get bacon grease in your eyes? Don’t rub your eyes with bacony fingers, I think that’s why you’re thinking you're blind.
- Don’t video anyone getting out of the shower.
- No more splits on the stairs.
- If someone is trying to tell you about your day tomorrow, you don’t interrupt them to talk about lemurs.
- You can’t hug people in football.
- I do like that galloping but right now it’s time to get dressed.
- Somebody is probably more likely to snuggle with you when you’re not naked
- Oh, I did say we need a whole egg. But actually we need to crack it first.
- Why is there a beef jerky ion my bed?
- Why are you riding the kitchen cabinet?
- When I’m trying to concentrate on driving safely on a busy highway I can’t turn around to look at a food family.
- Handcuffs without the chain would just be bracelets.
- You’re lucky I’m ignoring you.
- One stilt is harder than two stilts. And I need you to come inside for lunch.
- The wisemen didn’t wear hoodies.
- I still need you to pull up Google classroom even if your ear is folded.
If you want to keep going, you can find the 2019 quotes here
