A Year in Quotes, 2014

Happy New Year! 2014 was good to us. We bought a house and moved, we had a healthy baby BeYoYo, we've been adjusting to being a family of four, we participated in many shenanigans, and this little blog reached 30,000 hits. And I'm pretty sure only 10,000 of them are my mama.

Do you remember last year when I did this post of things we'd said over the last year that we never thought we'd say before kids? Not that we swore we'd parent one way or another, just issues we didn't realize we'd have to address. This year I again made a running note on my phone of things I heard come out of my mouth or The Husband's mouth that we never thought we'd need to say. I took them out of context and I present them to you here.

2014 in Quotes



We don't have to do everything you say.


No more chips until you eat your fries.


When you've had the same socks on for two days straight we have to take them off to wash them or burn them.


When's the last time he's had a bath?


I can't clean the poopoo off you when you're being lord of the dance.


Why are we riding in the car that smells like fish diapers?


Fishes don't eat mans.


Speak English, child.


We let you eat every single day. You don't have to cry about it.


We don't kiss other peoples' tongues.


I don't know who's the boss of squirrels.


The baby smells like milk neck.


You can't cook a dog in a dishwasher anyway.


I can't wipe off a carrot while I'm driving. You'll have to wait


Oh don't pick your nose while we're cooking. I just threw up in my mouth.


Please quit shaking your head like that. Your grandparents are going to worry about you.


Come away from that. It's sharp and I don't want you bleeding on the new curtains.


Who put cereal on the dog's head?









I don't know why cars don't have sinks for spitting.


Don't put the ice cream in your hair.


You don't call your mother poopoo, do you understand me??


Just cry without making any sound, ok?


No moonwalking on the stairs!


We don't write in soup.


I'm not going to sit here and guard your waffle all day.


Please don't wipe your nose on the baby's head.


No, you can't get back in my belly. Once you're born you're out forever.


Did you drill your brother?


We don't walk on people.


Please don't sit on your brother while he's eating.


You're going to have to wear that pink hair to school tomorrow.


Lasagna, not vagina.


There are too many people yelling right now. If somebody doesn't stop I'm going to start.


We can't eat seahorses because restaurants and grocery stores don't sell them.


If I find one more acorn in my boots you can never have another acorn.


If you don't straighten up you can't touch your brother again for the rest of the day.


You haven't had any vegetables today, so eat your pickle.


I never met a walrus.


We do not put boogers on the baby.


Who gave the baby a funnel?


Ahh, don't use your toothbrush to kill an ant! But thank you for not using baby Jesus this time.


Can you go retrieve his apple from the dog's mouth?


Please let me go to the bathroom by myself.


Your penis is not a coat rack.